An A - Z
of London

Capital Numbers

An alphabetical guide
to London

A is for 'orses
B is for Bow Bells
C is for 21st Century
D is for Dome
E is for Escalator
F is for Fog
G is for GLC
H is for History
I is for Information
J is for Jellied Eels
K is for Keeping Safe
L is for London Transport
M is for Money
N is for Nightbus
01 for London
P is for Plague
Q is for Queen
R is for Red Route
S is for Streets of London
T is for Thames
U is for Underground
V is for Villages
W is for WestEnders
X is for Charing X
Y is a Year in London
Z is for Zoo

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K is for Keeping Safe

Follow these simple rules, and youíll find London is nowhere near as dangerous as itís made out to be.

• Donít carry large amounts of cash on your person, unless planning on travelling anywhere by taxi.

• Donít stand in the street waving your arms around shouting ĎWho wants to look at my Rolex?í

• Donít leave any large suitcases with trailing wires unattended on the Underground in the rush hour.

• Donít get married to any infamous East End gangsters, it could be a shotgun wedding.

• Donít talk to any young boys called Oliver, as theyíre probably planning to pick your pocket or two.

• Donít join the Metropolitan Police, or else half the inhabitants of Peckham will want to shoot at you.

• Donít go outside. Far more violent crime in London takes place outside your home than inside it.

• Do go and live in the Highlands of Scotland if youíre that bloody paranoid about living here.