The Unoriginal Miscellany


Weights and measures
Former Blue Peter presenters
Forthcoming Harry Potter books
How Countdown works
Patron saints
East London postcodes
Know your BBC
Famous 37 year-olds
The Clubbing-English bilingual phrasebook
Anglo-American relations
9 of the top rated TV programmes of the 70s
Reasons to be single
10 unwritten rules of soap opera
50 years of the pop charts
Planets and their satellites
Underground passengers from hell
Winter solstice sunset times
Whatever happened to?
The royal line of succession
Top trivia
Olympic cities
Minimum legal ages
Signs of the zodiac
Big Brother - in the House
Future UK total solar eclipses
Future UK total solar eclipses in your lifetime
Pub toilets
5 things to do waiting for your tea to brew
The Country Code
Wedding anniversaries
Rare chemical elements

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Know your BBC

BBC television

BBC1 – the occasional programme, linked by endless trailers and a lot of red people dancing

– wasn’t this channel better before they changed to that new set of yellow ‘2’ animations?

BBC3 – alternative youth programmes, screened here three weeks before they appear on BBC2

BBC4 – posh programmes for viewers with an arts degree who aren’t out at the theatre instead

BBC5Live – the Grandstand channel, featuring synchronised swimming, bowls and tiddlywinks

BBC6 – somewhere to dump excess footage of Fame Academy nobody wanted to see on BBC1

BBC7 – BBC Heaven, the shagadelic Austin Powers nostalgia channel

– Sue Barker hosts live coverage from Wimbledon

BBC News24 – the license-fee-devouring news channel, named after its number of viewers

CBeebies – the channel for QVC viewers who want to watch something a little more challenging

BBC radio

BBC Radio 1
– bangin beats for der kids on da street, repeated every three-and-a-half hours

BBC Radio 2 – now features local radio music, but without the adverts or the cheesy presenters

BBC Radio 3 – cheap to run, because it cuts down royalty payments if all the composers are dead

BBC Radio 4 – the serious news station, so naturally it’s where all BBC2’s best comedies are born

BBC 5 Live – Radio 4 for people who care what the football results are

BBC 6 Music – music from before Gareth Gates was born, but after Karen Carpenter died.

BBC Radio 7 – talking books, except you always seem to tune in midway through chapter 15

BBC Radio 80 – for old people, it’s live gossip from the hairdressers; did she? no? well, I heard...

World Service – has the highest listening figures of any BBC station, and therefore likely to be axed

BBC Radio Number 10 – the latest political scandal, live from the baby monitor in Leo’s bedroom

BBC online

BBCi – interactive online web-based content, which saves you ever having to buy a newspaper

BBCfx – ancient teletext system that’s miles better than the slower pages you get on digital telly

BBck1 – expensive unisex channel that comes in a bottle and smells like battery acid