Brewer's
Unoriginal 
Miscellany

Reasons to be single

Single:         You get the whole duvet to yourself.
Coupled:     You don't need a hot water bottle.

Single:         There's half as much ironing to do.
Coupled:     There's somebody else to do the ironing for you.

Single:         You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments.
Coupled:     There's someone to talk to about the TV programme you're watching.

Single:         You can get home from work at whatever time you like.
Coupled:     There might just be a meal waiting for you when you get home.

Single:         You get to eat the whole ready meal for two yourself.
Coupled:     It takes just as long to cook for two as it does for one.

Single:         There are no important birthdays or anniversaries to accidentally forget.
Coupled:     Somebody actually remembers your birthday.

Single:         You have can still have a riotous social life in your 30s.
Coupled:     You can still have a riotous social life in your 60s.

Single:         You don't keep catching every sniffle, cold and flu bug off your partner.
Coupled:     When you suffer a major cardiac arrest, somebody notices and dials 999.

Single:         You don’t have to live halfway between your workplace and your partner’s workplace.
Coupled:     You can afford to live somewhere within 20 miles of either of your workplaces.

Single:         You have no friends to go out with because they're all partnered and staying in.
Coupled:     You don't have to go out with the dull friends you had while you were single.

Single:         You can lie in bed in the morning for as long as you like.
Coupled:     There's a good reason for lying in bed in the morning.

Single:         Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.
Coupled:     Somebody loves you despite what they see first thing in the morning.